Banter, as defined by dictionaries, is "light hearted teasing". Sad to say, but banter isn't that anymore. Because when some prick isn't using it as a scapegoat to flick you with a ruler or fire loom bands at your head, there's someone taking the insults way too far. It's essentially a loop hole to be, what would otherwise be classed as being, an asshole to everyone around you. But what are you going to do about it?
Going to what I said about insults going too far, this one needs explaining, as there's going to be someone who will take it out of context. I don't mean the simple "and that's what you did last night" or the "you can't talk, because _____" sort of stuff, I mean when the childish insults get taken and modified to be messed up, like instead of "I fucked your mum", it's "I fucked your mum and gave her aids and cancer so now she shits blood and cries sperm tears and then takes it up the bum from me and squeals like a pig" or that sort of thing. It's... crossing the line. But people don't seem to be able to admit "oh, sorry, I screwed up", no, it gets worse from whenever you complain. That's not banter, that's douchebaggery, something entirely different.
Everything is banter nowadays. "Oi, lets go knock some random guy out, it's banter innit?" Says the casual young male. And so they do. And the victim doesn't find that "light hearted", he finds it inexcusable and retarded. And worse thing about it, they'll keep doing it, and won't stop, because "it isn't bullying, it's banter". Tearing someone's entire football card collection in two so they have their hobby shredded before their eyes "isn't bullying, it's just a bit of banter, they're just footie cards innit". That's like the excuse a Year 2 gives the teacher for biting a classmate. We've grown up, we know right from wrong. And yet you still do wrong for no fucking reason other than "because it's harmless banter innit".
Let me evaluate. Apparently, sexual harassment, assault, and a whole other load of terrible things are "just banter". Like, as published by The Daily Star, a perverted doctor claims forcing himself onto a nurse and sexual assaulting her was "just banter". Dr David Varghese, aka the pathetic cunt in question, also made advances on her infront of patients. It was clear she wasn't a fan of this "mere banter", as she tried pushing him away, but oh no, there was, as he says, "something between them". FUCK. THIS. MAN. I'm quite against feminism in the UK (not feminism in total, in some countries it's needed and I respect that), but if there isn't a flare of feminist out cry over this incident I'll be surprised. And yet, it'll be "sexist pig men" that are blamed and banter will get off scot-free.
The thing is, banter is socially accepted, and somehow justifies everything. Burn a guy's house down? Banter. Kick an old lady's crutch out of her hands? Banter. Tie an orphan to a train track and watch him get hit? Legendary legit banter. Assault, insults, verbal abuse, and bullying isn't accepted, but hey, if it's banter, it's a-okay. Banter, in tradition, goes as far back to as "birthday noogies" that you use to get from those pricks in school. "Oi, Jamie's 12 today, 12 punches for the pleb, it's great banter!" No, that's just you trying to justify going up to someone 5 years younger than you and punching him in the arm 12 times like a pratt. If he rats though, it's him who's the moron, he just can't handle banter. Fuck. Off. With. That. Idea.
And don't get me started on "footie banter". It's where this bacteria of society blossoms. I'm looking at you, Chelsea fans. Whilst it's no secret that Chelsea has some of the most fucking idiotic fans I've seen (don't worry, I'm not saying they all are, some of them are carrying more than five braincells), they've just hit a new low. Evening Standard published an article yesterday reporting that Chelsea fans hurled insults at Arsenal fans outside Stamford Bridge. Now, I've yet to see a football match (as much as I want to see Sunderland play, I haven't the time, which is just a kick in the groin to me as I live right below Sunderland), but I'm pretty sure the point of it is to go there, watch the match, and then go home happy, not to go there, hurl insults at people for no reason other than they like people who run around with different colour shirts to you, watch the match, and if you don't get at least 6-0 to "us", even though you don't play for the team, you go kick an Arsenal supporting 10 year old in the mouth until he coughs up his organs. You're a tool.
The Sunderland and Newcastle rivalry is notorious. But there's been riots, deaths, fights, injured kids, fires, vandalism, and other buckets of joy over what is, when you boil it down, watching some people in different shirts kick a ball around for a few hours once or twice every week. When Sunderland scored a goal against Newcastle at the last few minutes and went home with a 1-0, Sunderland fans exited like immature kids and started taunting the Newcastle fans. I support Sunderland, but if we won, I'd be happy, but I wouldn't say "your mother's a dirty tramp bitch, ha ha" to Newcastle fans over a sport game. That's just pathetic. You're pathetic. Football is shameless on banter.
So the next time someone decapitates your hamster in the name of "banter", follow my advice, and behead them, then a game of football against Chelsea with his head and win so you get the satisfaction of winning Chelsea, revenge on the dickhead who decapitated your beloved pet, and funny reactions from 40 year old Chelsea fans who get pissed off over losing 2-1 and they take the game way too seriously. That's all I have to say, hope you enjoyed my "fantastic banter".
PS: If you took that last sentence seriously, get the fuck off my blog, you imbecile.
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